What I Gave
As soon as I walk out the office door on Friday I try my hardest to not think about my job until I wake up Monday morning. This weekend was a success in that regard, thanks in part to a booming Christmas Party Saturday night. As I shuffled into my office, straining my brain for any projects I had to resume from the week prior, I was blindsided by one of the ladies.
"Ryan!!!," she screamed. "Did you remember your SECRET SANTA? It's SECRET SANTA WEEK!!!"
God damnit, I thought. I had completely forgotten.
Unenthusiastic, I responded, "Uh, yeah." I then realized my monotone response may have been a little cold, given my coworker's obvious excitement. I continued, in an attempt to amend my initial lackluster response, "Of course! What? You think I would forget?"
After wracking my brain for 3 minutes, I decided I would write my Secret Santa a poem explaining my folly, promising a gift far surpassing the $2 limit the following day. Knowing my audience, I figured if I made the poem cute enough it would maybe take away some of the sting associated with being stood up on Secret Santa Day 1. It read...
...from the desk of Kris Kringle
You're probably wondering where your present is - no doubt, for sure,
Unfortunately, this weekend, my elves were a little immature
Instead of whittling toy trains, like Santa had asked,
The elves went out on the North Pole and got straight up trashed
But fear not for the elves are now in big trouble,
And tomorrow, at your desk, you'll receive a present that's double!
I waited until the subject left her office (I have a clear view of her door from down the hall), then walked briskly into her office, placing the poem on her desk. When she returned to her office, I listened from down the hall as my subject read the poem to herself, followed by a boisterous laugh. I had dodged a bullet, yes, but I had to put up the next day.
What I Got
After leaving my desk for a quick trip down the hall to our 25 square foot "kitchen," where I was able to fetch a glob of peanut butter on a plastic spoon, I returned to my desk to find my present: an oversized Hershey Kiss WITH almonds, and containing 3 raisins nestled within the center of the delicacy. I placed my spoon down on my desk gingerly, so as to avoid it toppling and leaving a peanut butter smear, and immediately turned my attention to the Kiss, devouring it in less than 15 seconds. It was the balls. Unfortunately, I was too eager to pwn the Kiss and forgot to take a picture of the gift until after the carnage. Given some of my coworkers' gifts - an "Office Voodoo Kit" (whatever the hell that means), a pot holder, and a gingerbread tree ornament - I feel I came out a winner today. Gift grade: 8/10.
Be sure to check in tomorrow, for a recap of RPK's gives and gets from both today (Tuesday) and Wednesday!